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Can I get you something? A New Years Eve drink?’ ‘Just a glass of wine, please Stan.’ I poured us each a glass and returned to the living room. She took a tentative sip, sighed, and leaned back on the sofa. I waited to let her begin. It was her decision to talk, and I wanted to hear it. ‘I want to apologize first, Stan. I know I’ve been hard … no … make that impossible to live with in the past while. I want you to know that it was nothing that you did to make me that way.’ She paused, and I leaned back in my chair, awaiting whatever came next. ‘You know that I was excited when I got my first promotion at Empire Life. It was the first time that I thought that it wasn’t just a job and that I might have a career and be successful. I suddenly realized I wanted to be successful. I wanted to move up in the organization. I wanted to be ‘somebody.’ That started my changing the way I looked at my life, my marriage, and my future. ‘When I found I was now reporting to Peter Ambleton, I was. I don't remember how many assignments are due tomorrow; I still need to check." I felt guilty, but with the memory damage, and my need for protection, I just didn't have the time."Just don't forget. Dad will be home in less than hour and we'll have dinner at half past seven. You can do some of it now." The last sentence was not a suggestion."Yes, Mother." That answer got a sharp look. I think I normally called her "Mom".I searched, somewhat desperately, through the notebooks in my room. My handwriting was bad, and the notes anything but systematic. There was a vague memory that I had some geometry problems due tomorrow. I also thought there was a history assignment. I could not recollect actually taking these notes, and had no memory whatsoever about assignments due tomorrow. Or the day after. Or any other day.After a few more minutes of panic I sat down on the floor again. My knees protested, but the calm I felt from the familiar position was worth it. Even without the breathing.
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